[Jonathan tries to work out what she might have been thinking in that first line. Did they have a conversation about this before? Perhaps? He can't recall anything recent and specific, though. Perhaps she's thinking of something that happened at Fort Harmony? Jonathan isn't going to press on that point. Probably best to let her get back to it.]
I think some are more pre-disposed toward a certain sort of darkness. Certainly, the heart cannot be something of pure light. They want to draw those specific darknesses out of us. Do you remember the doppelgangers? The ones on that camera site? We were made to say what they considered our worst trait to be. And again, those injections at Fort Harmony. Even past the hunt and the chase, they changed us. I was arrogant, I think. Overly so.
I value my own mind and I know I can be very confident. LIEs seems to want to twist us to bring to the fore all the worst parts of such things. Confidence and manners might be seen by some as hubris if pressed beyond my personal boundaries.
Do you see them doing something with that beyond their current experiments? I simply cannot see what it might be.
The first batch of people who arrived were given bracelets. Our worst trait was displayed upon them in bright, red letters, and it flashed at us. If you did not remove your bracelet, that trait heightened, became worse. And those who refused even then to get it removed were treated like kings and queens during Tumenalia. And that's always what it's been about: reveling in the darkest parts of ourselves, dancing to the tune LIEs plays.
Because when we're being destructive towards our own ends, we get things like Fort Harmony.
[ And it will continue like that, she thinks. Right now, LIEs has made it clear that they wield more power and the ability to cut them off from their magics, to change them fundamentally. To reduce a vampire to human, to expose someone's monstrous pieces, or to bring a god to his knees.
It still burns her inside. ]
Your doppleganger was very arrogant. He prided himself as being untouchable, being master of himself. If you took even that and heightened it...
[ She loves Jonathan dearly but that sort of person would be spiteful, unkind, lacking all of the warmth that he has. ]
I don't know. I wish I knew what this Deceit gene specifically did, what they're hoping to accomplish by finding someone without it. As it stands, it wouldn't be completely far-fetched if all they're looking to do with us is see how we behave and change us as they see fit. It's a poor excuse for an experiment.
Perhaps at the end of our year, no matter that they say we'll be 'released' from the program, they might add more stipulations.
Worse, I sometimes fear that we are constructs just as our dopplegangers were. That we are easy to break and reshape to their needs. Scrub our minds of memories and send us back out here again and again, see if we'll repeat our mistakes or do something else. That's what Asra feared, months ago. I cannot say I do not harbor the same thoughts.
[It's that last part that most captures Jonathan's attention.]
What evidence do you have for this construct theory? Simply that they're able to control us so readily? I would attribute that to magic or some science, truly, before I assumed we were not ourselves. How might that even work? We all come through that portal.
I should be more concerned that the general populace are constructs with how easily they can be vanished away. I spoke with Zexion about such things in his world and he thought that it might be possible with a large group of mages, but even that would be a challenge.
[ Both Asra and Cehd'ra are gone now. Only she knows this information. If something happens to her... Jonathan should know. ]
Do we all come through that portal? What if we came elsewhere? What if they created us from the memories of who we were before? What if everything about us is made up?
Asra, Cehd'ra, and I... We chased Cehd'ra's doppleganger. Found him in an old warehouse. He felt everything Cehd'ra did, had all of his memories, knew everything. Craved all of the wants and desires he felt. He wept, believing he would be alone, that we would walk away and leave him in that horrible room where people watched him like he was some kind of object. Or some kind of whore.
I touched your doppleganger, Jonathan. I struck at him and Rip's. I encountered my own. They were living, breathing things. They have been appearing every time someone new comes. How can LIEs do that? How can they make such perfect copies if we, ourselves, were not also copies of someone who might exist elsewhere?
And Zexion is right; such a thing is nearly impossible. I worry that the people here are not real either. But we've seen them die. We've seen many people die, have killed them ourselves at the Fort. So I don't know what the explanation is. I worry that the answer will find will be worse than I imagine.
If everything about us is made up, there are remarkably rich imaginations at work creating us from all different worlds that bear little to no resemblance to this one. I realize authors and the like exist, but I find it hard to believe that LIEs would have the resources or capacity to make people whole-cloth.
Remember also that the man you touched vanished with only a word. Some of them might have been killed and are copies, but there must be some magic at work where they are concerned. A confusion of the senses? Why else would a single word be enough to remove them? They may be like the natives here, but even that I would question. I know I said they might be constructs, but we've treated these people, Neria. We've looked inside of them, stitched them up. Whatever they are, I believe they're real.
The doppelgangers? I'm still uncertain. Perhaps if we could conduct and autopsy on one of them, compare them to the person they're meant to represent, that would provide us with more information to determine if they are real or not.
Perhaps not everything. It's possible that if we are not the originals of who we are, then they still might be trapped by LIEs. Or perhaps they truly have such magic and technology that allows them to make copies of us immediately upon arrival. I'm not certain what would be more or less far-fetched, truth be told.
But I know your doppleganger bled, as did Rip's. I felt something there when I used magic on him. So perhaps we're only perceiving them as ourselves? Some sort of illusion work, maybe, but that doesn't explain how they react.
[ More pen tapping marks. Someone was thinking rather hard about the suggestion. ]
[There's a long pause in the conversation between them as Jonathan is gone away to SLUT for three days.]
An idea I would be willing to consider and explore with you, Neria. I'm a surgeon. Surgery and autopsy are within my particular purview. I only wish I had not disappeared my own doppelganger.
How are you? The staff told me you were working far more over the past few days. Staying far too late at Haven. I hope my absence did not disrupt the rotation to such a degree. My apologies if it did.
You can tear open mine when I kill her, if you wish.
[ That's...it. That's all that's on the page. It's such a deliberate, singular statement that it comes across rather abruptly and almost cold. And dramatic.
On the following page, she continues to answer his questions. ]
It was no trouble, Jonathan. I stayed here to look after our workers here. Our family. That's my duty as an administrator and simply who I am. It didn't upset me to be here; it didn't disrupt my schedule. I have quite a bit of paid time off accrued.
I'm fine. I was worried - and am still worried - about you.
[There's tap marks at the start of the page, a clear sign he hadn't been sure of how to respond to her.]
A visceral way to describe a medical procedure, Neria. I'm not in the habit of tearing anyone open save my enemies. I would prefer you keep as much of her body intact, as possible.
[This is a gruesome conversation, and Jonathan isn't certain he'll be able to be so clinical when faced with a corpse that looks like Neria, but he can try. And maybe have Victor close to hand to assist with the procedure. The other man seems to ground him in the cold and clinical better than most.]
I'd like it if you would take some of that time off. Spend your time with Ereuvir or others, if it might please you. I'll be fine. Honestly, I'm surprised they did not do worse. I expected to spend at least a month in the People Zoo, if not more. Or be forced to carry out some humiliating and degrading public service. The antidote has eliminated the lingering sexual urges; though, I don't expect we can rely on it further. And I'm not feeling the urge toward submission quite as often. I expect I'll be restored to myself in little more than a month. They may try to cut us down and stop us. We shall simply need to become cleverer... and trust fewer people.
I can do all of it myself, if it would be easier for you. I can't explicitly promise I can initially keep her intact, though I'll heal her just fine. You have to understand that I wouldn't go down without a fight; neither will she. Your doppleganger still had full use of his abilities.
[ So it stands to reason that her own doppleganger will have the same. She already knows the quickest way to ensure she dies and stays dead but... Well, Neria has options, and she wonders if her clone wouldn't actually agree to being partially opened up if she wasn't murdered.
It's just going to depend on whether or not Neria feels particularly merciful. ]
Why would I take time off? Because I've had a few extra long days? There's work to be done here to be better prepared for what LIEs might do. You said it yourself: they might try to take us out in some manner, possibly one by one. I've moved the lab but I fear it's more vulnerable where it is because it doesn't have people around it the way Haven has. I'm going to be speaking to Tony about heightened security at both locations.
I thought they would see you in the zoo or in jail. [ There's more space here between the words, like she actually had to stop writing. ] I didn't think they'd take you somewhere and try to change you. I should have anticipated it, though. How else could they likely get you to stop?
This was a warning.
I don't disagree with you. We need to trust fewer people, not be quite so overt for a little while. We need to be more prepared, more clever.
[ She doesn't bother writing 'I'm sorry'. Jonathan knew the potential consequences of his actions. It doesn't make her feel any less like she's failed to keep him safe. ]
[Purely because he doesn't want to her have to do this on her own. However Neria might feel about her own self-worth, Jonathan would prefer she not grow comfortable with the notion of cutting herself open.]
As long as we ultimately have a good specimen to compare to, that should be sufficient.
Magnus may be able to set up a second portal in that area to facilitate escape from it, as well, if it's needed. But I think Mr. Stark's electronic surveillance should be of help. I can also ask Tim Drake about helping with that. He found and infiltrated our antidote preparation area some time ago, avoiding the security precautions we took there. He's very good at finding the holes in our network of defenses.
I do have some assurances, at least, that if they do not break in and claim us by force, there are ways to avoid having LIES take too much of our minds within the center. I lost my memory because Dr. Strange and I asked one of his companions, Dr. Charles Xavier, to temporarily remove our memories. If this should happen again, I am considering that it may be possible to have the memories of my time within the treatment center itself removed to completely eliminate any conditioning they forced upon me. It is not an alternative I'm keen on, but needs must. The same would be possible for yourself or others.
[ But not necessarily accepted. While Neria isn't in a hurry to go running off to kill her other self, she'll make no guarantees to tell Jonathan when she decides to do this. ]
I think it would be. I think now is the time for us to take every precaution we can manage, if only to try to keep one step ahead. I won't fool myself into believing we have slipped the lead for long or that we have outsmarted LIEs. We certainly can't overtake their resources, even if we can outmaneuver them for a time. I'd like for a better security system, especially with our help having disappeared and our numbers thinning. It might not be wise for us to flagrantly advertise just yet.
I didn't realize you'd had your memories locked away. It's a relief, at least, to know you didn't forget. It sounds like what they did was some kind of...behavior conditioning? I'm not certain if that will be erased when the memories are removed or stocked away, though I appreciate you looking into it.
Ivy was asking about you. How are you doing? Honestly.
[He knows her well enough now to read between the lines, but he doesn't press on the issue of her doppelganger. For now.]
I'll speak with young Mr. Drake, then.
Thankfully, Professor Xavier did recall the matter and sought me out to correct it. We shall see what he thinks of the idea. I'll keep you informed.
I thought you also might like to know that I spoke with Ms. Care. She's agreed to stop coming to Haven. AM apparently has the ability to infiltrate her mind at-will and simply know her thoughts and memories due to their connection as artificial beings. I've informed her she will be unable to take part in any of our sensitive work while she remains with him and that potential remains, and she agreed. She does want to keep seeing me, though. I feel it my duty to try to convince her to get away from that man and what he's done and continues to do to her. She insists she doesn't have other options, though. It is difficult to understand.
As for myself, I am slowly returning more to myself. But I'm not injured or particularly distressed. The fact that things were not worse disturbs me more, in truth. I am waiting for some other effect to take hold or for LIEs to spirit us away to a place like Fort Harmony again. I do not care to wait for our enemies to attack us. It is vexing and I would rather have done with the battle to come.
Fortunate indeed. You didn't write something like that down??
[ Jonathan.... ]
It is not your duty to convince her or to offer her alternatives. You are doing it out of the goodness of your heart. She is welcome to speak with anyone here about alternatives or to use the Dub app. You do not need to bind yourself to the role of savior. If you are choosing to help her, then that is your choice.
[ It's not that Hiling deserves less or that Neria feels she doesn't need help, but she does think that Hiling is taking advantage of Jonathan's kindness since he's the only one she's sought anything out from. And it's likely Hiling was well aware of what AM could do long, long before she volunteered, and simply didn't think about the consequences. Or considered AM's animosity. ]
It's difficult to wait for an enemy's attack. It's easy to grow restless. I understand. We should devote this time to preparations and begin to ease into looking for places we can exact change, little by little. I'm not speaking of diplomacy this time.
[ She's speaking, directly, of sabotage or murder. ]
I do think what happened to you was a warning. Not just for you but to all of us here at Haven. Ivy believes it was akin to emotional warfare, not necessarily a mental or physical one the way it could have been. Still, I'm glad you're recovering. If there's a change, please let Ivy or myself know so we can support you.
Neria, how well do you know AM? His villainy runs as deep as the hunger in my blood. Anyone trapped within his pull is someone I've a duty to save. So few see what he is. Or few have had chance to experience it. Even Lord Ignacio does not turn my stomach like this man. The thought of Ms. Care with his hand around her throat, keeping her close... it frightens me for her.
Where shall we begin, though? Consider me your sword, my friend. I cannot claim strategy as a mantle I wear well without some minor direction.
[It's not a thing he would readily admit to most people, but he needs some idea of what to do and where to go. He's been spinning his wheels rather useless in attempting to figure out the best course by himself. A colleague to bounce ideas back and forth with would help.]
These trackers that are in people. They don't seem to be LIEs' work, which leaves us with something of a dead end on that score.
Maker's breath, Jonathan. If you keep this up, you'll have more enemies than I do back home.
[ It's hard to tell via writing but it's a fond exasperation because... ]
I have never met AM. He seems devious at best and likely is monstrous at worst. The animosity he has towards you is concerning to me. I cannot imagine the things he's done to people who haven't your will. So yes, I share your concern about Hiling, but she has never struck me as incapable in her own way.
[ She doesn't know Hiling very well, either, but she has a hard time believing that if AM is as horrible as Jonathan claims - and she trusts he is - that Hiling doesn't have her own methods of survival and dealing with him. So far, she's never turned up broken. So Hiling is doing something to stay afloat. What that is, she isn't certain. ]
I don't want swords, Jonathan. I'm capable of fighting things on my own, you might recall? I don't send soldiers to fight while I sit back and watch.
[ This is the difficult part, where she doesn't know how much to let anyone in on, the struggle to lead while she has to delegate her troops, or the pain of knowing many might not make it back. ]
I feared as much. They still should be dealt with first. I wonder if their technology wouldn't be better served helping us, if we can convince them. And if we cannot, then other measures can be implemented. But the sorts of things they're doing... We could utilize them, under the right guidance.
[The words are sharp, pressed hard into the page. Then, the text changes back to Jonathan's usual hand, less vehemence.]
There was an incident on Patara. I responded to it later when a chance arose, and he has lived in fear of me and the powers I possess when there is no chain upon them ever since. We tangled at the Fort, as well. During the hunt. [It's about as vague as he can make it while still trying to convey some personal experience in the matter.] Hiling has told me of his abuses and I have seen some of the results of them. She should not have to simply survive that man. I know there are other things to focus on, but leaving her to him... it is unconscionable to me, however capable she might be, and whatever her strangeness and attitudes toward humans.
A warrior fights with a sword. My apologies for the confusion of metaphors. I want you by my side, Neria. I simply know you have better insight on certain things than I do.
You think we could use these trackers against LIEs, itself? Perhaps plant them on its own people? Monitor them as they monitor us?
[ An incident on Patara. It makes her blood run cold because she can imagine all sorts of things that could have happened then, as it had happened to her. Saber and Gilgamesh had brutalized her. To hear Jonathan suffered similar, found retribution, and then was attacked again just chills her to the bone. ]
I'm sorry, Jonathan. I did not know. I only ask that you are careful when it comes to him and Hiling. He will know you're helping her and will just use that to his advantage.
[ And she will discuss AM with Ivy. ]
I would prefer to be at your side as well. And yes, that is what I am implying: if we can get trackers into a few LIEs employees, we can perhaps gather information and monitor them as well. When the opportunity presents itself, we can find the time to strike.
Asra and Sinbad, back during Tumenalia, struck a LIEs building. No one was inside, likely because they anticipated their attack. With more discretion, we could catch them unawares.
I did not want to tell you. It is a private matter I intend to deal with myself. I trust I have your confidence in this. I have only ever told Magnus of the details and not the identity of the person responsible. As I said to him, I will say to you, Neria: I have no need of a knight upon a white horse. Just as you have no need of soldiers while you sit upon some throne behind your gathered forces. I've told you this only so that you might understand how imperative it is to get Ms. Care away from that man.
I can see if it's possible to gather the trackers from a few people. I'm not entirely certain how we might get them back into the employees, though. Another discussion with Mr. Stark, perhaps. He may be able to understand their construction.
[ Right, so. Not telling Ivy. She'll likely be angry if she finds out but this is...private, and Jonathan doesn't need rescuing. He wants validation and understanding around AMs's villainy, yes, but not people who will fight for him or take retribution for what's been done. ]
I understand. But when you are ready to deal with him, know I'm a call away if you wish for me to stand beside you.
I think we should take it a step further. Likely we will not be able to deliberately place them into someone from LIEs unless we can catch them on their own. Which is equally unlikely. I've been wondering who these people even are and, likely, some of their number are inconspicuous.
The trackers can be placed via injection or through sexual contact, yes?
Who do you think would be likely to be having sex with someone from LIEs? Someone from Duplicity. Perhaps we've been going after this a little too directly. If we found someone close enough to LIEs but not a part of them, someone likely to have contact...
[It's some time before they're able to converse again, what with the city transforming. Jonathan picks up the thread of the conversation again, though.]
I shall bear your offer of assistance with AM in mind. Thank you.
[He won't take it, but he'll bear it in mind.]
I think it likely someone in the regular community might be having relations with those in the LIEs program. Perhaps someone like Mr. Gray could be induced to court and infect them? Surely he must have a tracker.
[Because Dorian is sex on two legs half the time.]
I also have received a letter that I am granted permission by the government of Duplicity to formally submit my qualifications as a medical physician and to sit for the examinations required to reobtain my specific certifications in hematology and surgery. It would seem our trials were not without reward.
I'll be certain to make inquiries of him. Though I'll hazard a guess that there are likely others among our more attractive LIERs.
[ Likely he can hear her rolling her eyes. She wouldn't be surprised if Ignacio had also seduced an official or two, but she'll keep that to herself. ]
Well, it was worth it just to have the nice reprieve, too. I've missed using my magic in combat. Still, I'm very happy for you that you'll have the opportunity. Mind that they don't then put stipulations on it or take it away, or leave your license in limbo. They've offered you the ability but not necessarily for the prize.
I'm to go to the nearest government medical center in the Up to pick up the appropriate papers tomorrow night. We shall see if they attempt to act in some underhanded manner. I'm slightly more inclined to trust Duplicity's government over LIEs. Though, the separation between them seems little more than a sheet of paper at times.
Agreed. It's too fine a line to put a point on at times. Let me know how it works out. I know I need to get back to studying for the exam, myself, but that's taken a back seat to a great deal of other work I've been meaning to do. Only so many hours in a day, etc. etc.
Well, I have my dog back. Which has been an interesting development in the Surana-Valbanise household.
[ She knows Ereuvir has no issues with Valen but she could swear he wilts a little when she's so free with her tenderness on the hound. It's sparked some more overt displays of affection than she's been used to giving. ]
I've also received notes and possible lists to work on a cure for the Taint.
I have my license, officially. I'll need to sit for a few exams to prove competence in my specialty areas and perform a practical exam for surgery. I've set dates for those already. I'd like to post my credentials in the reception area, if that would be all right with you? I think it only sensible to have some evidence that we have officially licensed physicians. It can only add to our legitimacy.
[And stick poker in the eye of everyone who might be annoyed that said credentials are being given to a Submissive. Jonathan will just privately gloat about that.]
I'm glad you have your dog. I do hope Ereuvir's taken to it. But the Taint! Neria, when were you going to tell me? I'll be available to assist every evening, as you need it. Any evening.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2019-05-26 02:36 am (UTC)From:I think some are more pre-disposed toward a certain sort of darkness. Certainly, the heart cannot be something of pure light. They want to draw those specific darknesses out of us. Do you remember the doppelgangers? The ones on that camera site? We were made to say what they considered our worst trait to be. And again, those injections at Fort Harmony. Even past the hunt and the chase, they changed us. I was arrogant, I think. Overly so.
I value my own mind and I know I can be very confident. LIEs seems to want to twist us to bring to the fore all the worst parts of such things. Confidence and manners might be seen by some as hubris if pressed beyond my personal boundaries.
Do you see them doing something with that beyond their current experiments? I simply cannot see what it might be.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-26 03:23 am (UTC)From:Because when we're being destructive towards our own ends, we get things like Fort Harmony.
[ And it will continue like that, she thinks. Right now, LIEs has made it clear that they wield more power and the ability to cut them off from their magics, to change them fundamentally. To reduce a vampire to human, to expose someone's monstrous pieces, or to bring a god to his knees.
It still burns her inside. ]
Your doppleganger was very arrogant. He prided himself as being untouchable, being master of himself. If you took even that and heightened it...
[ She loves Jonathan dearly but that sort of person would be spiteful, unkind, lacking all of the warmth that he has. ]
I don't know. I wish I knew what this Deceit gene specifically did, what they're hoping to accomplish by finding someone without it. As it stands, it wouldn't be completely far-fetched if all they're looking to do with us is see how we behave and change us as they see fit. It's a poor excuse for an experiment.
Perhaps at the end of our year, no matter that they say we'll be 'released' from the program, they might add more stipulations.
Worse, I sometimes fear that we are constructs just as our dopplegangers were. That we are easy to break and reshape to their needs. Scrub our minds of memories and send us back out here again and again, see if we'll repeat our mistakes or do something else. That's what Asra feared, months ago. I cannot say I do not harbor the same thoughts.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-31 04:07 am (UTC)From:What evidence do you have for this construct theory? Simply that they're able to control us so readily? I would attribute that to magic or some science, truly, before I assumed we were not ourselves. How might that even work? We all come through that portal.
I should be more concerned that the general populace are constructs with how easily they can be vanished away. I spoke with Zexion about such things in his world and he thought that it might be possible with a large group of mages, but even that would be a challenge.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-31 09:32 pm (UTC)From:Do we all come through that portal? What if we came elsewhere? What if they created us from the memories of who we were before? What if everything about us is made up?
Asra, Cehd'ra, and I... We chased Cehd'ra's doppleganger. Found him in an old warehouse. He felt everything Cehd'ra did, had all of his memories, knew everything. Craved all of the wants and desires he felt. He wept, believing he would be alone, that we would walk away and leave him in that horrible room where people watched him like he was some kind of object. Or some kind of whore.
I touched your doppleganger, Jonathan. I struck at him and Rip's. I encountered my own. They were living, breathing things. They have been appearing every time someone new comes. How can LIEs do that? How can they make such perfect copies if we, ourselves, were not also copies of someone who might exist elsewhere?
And Zexion is right; such a thing is nearly impossible. I worry that the people here are not real either. But we've seen them die. We've seen many people die, have killed them ourselves at the Fort. So I don't know what the explanation is. I worry that the answer will find will be worse than I imagine.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-02 01:27 am (UTC)From:Remember also that the man you touched vanished with only a word. Some of them might have been killed and are copies, but there must be some magic at work where they are concerned. A confusion of the senses? Why else would a single word be enough to remove them? They may be like the natives here, but even that I would question. I know I said they might be constructs, but we've treated these people, Neria. We've looked inside of them, stitched them up. Whatever they are, I believe they're real.
The doppelgangers? I'm still uncertain. Perhaps if we could conduct and autopsy on one of them, compare them to the person they're meant to represent, that would provide us with more information to determine if they are real or not.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-02 02:57 am (UTC)From:But I know your doppleganger bled, as did Rip's. I felt something there when I used magic on him. So perhaps we're only perceiving them as ourselves? Some sort of illusion work, maybe, but that doesn't explain how they react.
[ More pen tapping marks. Someone was thinking rather hard about the suggestion. ]
That's an idea to consider.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-05 02:30 am (UTC)From:An idea I would be willing to consider and explore with you, Neria. I'm a surgeon. Surgery and autopsy are within my particular purview. I only wish I had not disappeared my own doppelganger.
How are you? The staff told me you were working far more over the past few days. Staying far too late at Haven. I hope my absence did not disrupt the rotation to such a degree. My apologies if it did.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-05 02:40 am (UTC)From:[ That's...it. That's all that's on the page. It's such a deliberate, singular statement that it comes across rather abruptly and almost cold. And dramatic.
On the following page, she continues to answer his questions. ]
It was no trouble, Jonathan. I stayed here to look after our workers here. Our family. That's my duty as an administrator and simply who I am. It didn't upset me to be here; it didn't disrupt my schedule. I have quite a bit of paid time off accrued.
I'm fine. I was worried - and am still worried - about you.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-08 05:20 pm (UTC)From:A visceral way to describe a medical procedure, Neria. I'm not in the habit of tearing anyone open save my enemies. I would prefer you keep as much of her body intact, as possible.
[This is a gruesome conversation, and Jonathan isn't certain he'll be able to be so clinical when faced with a corpse that looks like Neria, but he can try. And maybe have Victor close to hand to assist with the procedure. The other man seems to ground him in the cold and clinical better than most.]
I'd like it if you would take some of that time off. Spend your time with Ereuvir or others, if it might please you. I'll be fine. Honestly, I'm surprised they did not do worse. I expected to spend at least a month in the People Zoo, if not more. Or be forced to carry out some humiliating and degrading public service. The antidote has eliminated the lingering sexual urges; though, I don't expect we can rely on it further. And I'm not feeling the urge toward submission quite as often. I expect I'll be restored to myself in little more than a month. They may try to cut us down and stop us. We shall simply need to become cleverer... and trust fewer people.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-08 06:31 pm (UTC)From:[ So it stands to reason that her own doppleganger will have the same. She already knows the quickest way to ensure she dies and stays dead but... Well, Neria has options, and she wonders if her clone wouldn't actually agree to being partially opened up if she wasn't murdered.
It's just going to depend on whether or not Neria feels particularly merciful. ]
Why would I take time off? Because I've had a few extra long days? There's work to be done here to be better prepared for what LIEs might do. You said it yourself: they might try to take us out in some manner, possibly one by one. I've moved the lab but I fear it's more vulnerable where it is because it doesn't have people around it the way Haven has. I'm going to be speaking to Tony about heightened security at both locations.
I thought they would see you in the zoo or in jail. [ There's more space here between the words, like she actually had to stop writing. ] I didn't think they'd take you somewhere and try to change you. I should have anticipated it, though. How else could they likely get you to stop?
This was a warning.
I don't disagree with you. We need to trust fewer people, not be quite so overt for a little while. We need to be more prepared, more clever.
[ She doesn't bother writing 'I'm sorry'. Jonathan knew the potential consequences of his actions. It doesn't make her feel any less like she's failed to keep him safe. ]
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Date: 2019-06-13 10:25 pm (UTC)From:[Purely because he doesn't want to her have to do this on her own. However Neria might feel about her own self-worth, Jonathan would prefer she not grow comfortable with the notion of cutting herself open.]
As long as we ultimately have a good specimen to compare to, that should be sufficient.
Magnus may be able to set up a second portal in that area to facilitate escape from it, as well, if it's needed. But I think Mr. Stark's electronic surveillance should be of help. I can also ask Tim Drake about helping with that. He found and infiltrated our antidote preparation area some time ago, avoiding the security precautions we took there. He's very good at finding the holes in our network of defenses.
I do have some assurances, at least, that if they do not break in and claim us by force, there are ways to avoid having LIES take too much of our minds within the center. I lost my memory because Dr. Strange and I asked one of his companions, Dr. Charles Xavier, to temporarily remove our memories. If this should happen again, I am considering that it may be possible to have the memories of my time within the treatment center itself removed to completely eliminate any conditioning they forced upon me. It is not an alternative I'm keen on, but needs must. The same would be possible for yourself or others.
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Date: 2019-06-18 09:24 pm (UTC)From:[ But not necessarily accepted. While Neria isn't in a hurry to go running off to kill her other self, she'll make no guarantees to tell Jonathan when she decides to do this. ]
I think it would be. I think now is the time for us to take every precaution we can manage, if only to try to keep one step ahead. I won't fool myself into believing we have slipped the lead for long or that we have outsmarted LIEs. We certainly can't overtake their resources, even if we can outmaneuver them for a time. I'd like for a better security system, especially with our help having disappeared and our numbers thinning. It might not be wise for us to flagrantly advertise just yet.
I didn't realize you'd had your memories locked away. It's a relief, at least, to know you didn't forget. It sounds like what they did was some kind of...behavior conditioning? I'm not certain if that will be erased when the memories are removed or stocked away, though I appreciate you looking into it.
Ivy was asking about you. How are you doing? Honestly.
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Date: 2019-06-20 04:33 pm (UTC)From:I'll speak with young Mr. Drake, then.
Thankfully, Professor Xavier did recall the matter and sought me out to correct it. We shall see what he thinks of the idea. I'll keep you informed.
I thought you also might like to know that I spoke with Ms. Care. She's agreed to stop coming to Haven. AM apparently has the ability to infiltrate her mind at-will and simply know her thoughts and memories due to their connection as artificial beings. I've informed her she will be unable to take part in any of our sensitive work while she remains with him and that potential remains, and she agreed. She does want to keep seeing me, though. I feel it my duty to try to convince her to get away from that man and what he's done and continues to do to her. She insists she doesn't have other options, though. It is difficult to understand.
As for myself, I am slowly returning more to myself. But I'm not injured or particularly distressed. The fact that things were not worse disturbs me more, in truth. I am waiting for some other effect to take hold or for LIEs to spirit us away to a place like Fort Harmony again. I do not care to wait for our enemies to attack us. It is vexing and I would rather have done with the battle to come.
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Date: 2019-06-21 02:26 pm (UTC)From:[ Jonathan.... ]
It is not your duty to convince her or to offer her alternatives. You are doing it out of the goodness of your heart. She is welcome to speak with anyone here about alternatives or to use the Dub app. You do not need to bind yourself to the role of savior. If you are choosing to help her, then that is your choice.
[ It's not that Hiling deserves less or that Neria feels she doesn't need help, but she does think that Hiling is taking advantage of Jonathan's kindness since he's the only one she's sought anything out from. And it's likely Hiling was well aware of what AM could do long, long before she volunteered, and simply didn't think about the consequences. Or considered AM's animosity. ]
It's difficult to wait for an enemy's attack. It's easy to grow restless. I understand. We should devote this time to preparations and begin to ease into looking for places we can exact change, little by little. I'm not speaking of diplomacy this time.
[ She's speaking, directly, of sabotage or murder. ]
I do think what happened to you was a warning. Not just for you but to all of us here at Haven. Ivy believes it was akin to emotional warfare, not necessarily a mental or physical one the way it could have been. Still, I'm glad you're recovering. If there's a change, please let Ivy or myself know so we can support you.
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Date: 2019-06-21 03:04 pm (UTC)From:Neria, how well do you know AM? His villainy runs as deep as the hunger in my blood. Anyone trapped within his pull is someone I've a duty to save. So few see what he is. Or few have had chance to experience it. Even Lord Ignacio does not turn my stomach like this man. The thought of Ms. Care with his hand around her throat, keeping her close... it frightens me for her.
Where shall we begin, though? Consider me your sword, my friend. I cannot claim strategy as a mantle I wear well without some minor direction.
[It's not a thing he would readily admit to most people, but he needs some idea of what to do and where to go. He's been spinning his wheels rather useless in attempting to figure out the best course by himself. A colleague to bounce ideas back and forth with would help.]
These trackers that are in people. They don't seem to be LIEs' work, which leaves us with something of a dead end on that score.
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Date: 2019-06-21 03:22 pm (UTC)From:[ It's hard to tell via writing but it's a fond exasperation because... ]
I have never met AM. He seems devious at best and likely is monstrous at worst. The animosity he has towards you is concerning to me. I cannot imagine the things he's done to people who haven't your will. So yes, I share your concern about Hiling, but she has never struck me as incapable in her own way.
[ She doesn't know Hiling very well, either, but she has a hard time believing that if AM is as horrible as Jonathan claims - and she trusts he is - that Hiling doesn't have her own methods of survival and dealing with him. So far, she's never turned up broken. So Hiling is doing something to stay afloat. What that is, she isn't certain. ]
I don't want swords, Jonathan. I'm capable of fighting things on my own, you might recall? I don't send soldiers to fight while I sit back and watch.
[ This is the difficult part, where she doesn't know how much to let anyone in on, the struggle to lead while she has to delegate her troops, or the pain of knowing many might not make it back. ]
I feared as much. They still should be dealt with first. I wonder if their technology wouldn't be better served helping us, if we can convince them. And if we cannot, then other measures can be implemented. But the sorts of things they're doing... We could utilize them, under the right guidance.
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Date: 2019-06-21 03:37 pm (UTC)From:[The words are sharp, pressed hard into the page. Then, the text changes back to Jonathan's usual hand, less vehemence.]
There was an incident on Patara. I responded to it later when a chance arose, and he has lived in fear of me and the powers I possess when there is no chain upon them ever since. We tangled at the Fort, as well. During the hunt. [It's about as vague as he can make it while still trying to convey some personal experience in the matter.] Hiling has told me of his abuses and I have seen some of the results of them. She should not have to simply survive that man. I know there are other things to focus on, but leaving her to him... it is unconscionable to me, however capable she might be, and whatever her strangeness and attitudes toward humans.
A warrior fights with a sword. My apologies for the confusion of metaphors. I want you by my side, Neria. I simply know you have better insight on certain things than I do.
You think we could use these trackers against LIEs, itself? Perhaps plant them on its own people? Monitor them as they monitor us?
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Date: 2019-06-21 04:13 pm (UTC)From:I'm sorry, Jonathan. I did not know. I only ask that you are careful when it comes to him and Hiling. He will know you're helping her and will just use that to his advantage.
[ And she will discuss AM with Ivy. ]
I would prefer to be at your side as well. And yes, that is what I am implying: if we can get trackers into a few LIEs employees, we can perhaps gather information and monitor them as well. When the opportunity presents itself, we can find the time to strike.
Asra and Sinbad, back during Tumenalia, struck a LIEs building. No one was inside, likely because they anticipated their attack. With more discretion, we could catch them unawares.
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Date: 2019-06-21 05:10 pm (UTC)From:I can see if it's possible to gather the trackers from a few people. I'm not entirely certain how we might get them back into the employees, though. Another discussion with Mr. Stark, perhaps. He may be able to understand their construction.
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Date: 2019-06-21 07:07 pm (UTC)From:I understand. But when you are ready to deal with him, know I'm a call away if you wish for me to stand beside you.
I think we should take it a step further. Likely we will not be able to deliberately place them into someone from LIEs unless we can catch them on their own. Which is equally unlikely. I've been wondering who these people even are and, likely, some of their number are inconspicuous.
The trackers can be placed via injection or through sexual contact, yes?
Who do you think would be likely to be having sex with someone from LIEs? Someone from Duplicity. Perhaps we've been going after this a little too directly. If we found someone close enough to LIEs but not a part of them, someone likely to have contact...
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Date: 2019-06-25 05:13 am (UTC)From:I shall bear your offer of assistance with AM in mind. Thank you.
[He won't take it, but he'll bear it in mind.]
I think it likely someone in the regular community might be having relations with those in the LIEs program. Perhaps someone like Mr. Gray could be induced to court and infect them? Surely he must have a tracker.
[Because Dorian is sex on two legs half the time.]
I also have received a letter that I am granted permission by the government of Duplicity to formally submit my qualifications as a medical physician and to sit for the examinations required to reobtain my specific certifications in hematology and surgery. It would seem our trials were not without reward.
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Date: 2019-06-25 05:29 am (UTC)From:[ Likely he can hear her rolling her eyes. She wouldn't be surprised if Ignacio had also seduced an official or two, but she'll keep that to herself. ]
Well, it was worth it just to have the nice reprieve, too. I've missed using my magic in combat. Still, I'm very happy for you that you'll have the opportunity. Mind that they don't then put stipulations on it or take it away, or leave your license in limbo. They've offered you the ability but not necessarily for the prize.
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Date: 2019-06-29 04:50 am (UTC)From:What did you receive for our troubles?
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Date: 2019-06-29 04:56 am (UTC)From:Well, I have my dog back. Which has been an interesting development in the Surana-Valbanise household.
[ She knows Ereuvir has no issues with Valen but she could swear he wilts a little when she's so free with her tenderness on the hound. It's sparked some more overt displays of affection than she's been used to giving. ]
I've also received notes and possible lists to work on a cure for the Taint.
[ She writes it a little like an afterthought. ]
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Date: 2019-07-05 10:20 pm (UTC)From:[And stick poker in the eye of everyone who might be annoyed that said credentials are being given to a Submissive. Jonathan will just privately gloat about that.]
I'm glad you have your dog. I do hope Ereuvir's taken to it. But the Taint! Neria, when were you going to tell me? I'll be available to assist every evening, as you need it. Any evening.
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