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You've reached Dr. Jonathan Reid. Please leave me a message.

Date: 2019-04-23 03:59 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (IM - Yup. I deserved that.)
Just- just my blood. Armor scans say that my brain is functioning normally, but I don't know that I'm not sick. I shouldn't be.

[And the most likely issue would be his body trying to process a bunch of new information, but he can't guarantee that either.]

I don't know. He said- He said it was fine. That it wasn't my fault. But he's wrong.

Date: 2019-04-24 04:09 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - Sometimes I hate myself.)
[Tony needs an actual therapist, but he left his back home and has given up on that for the time being. Which means he's making a lot of reckless, stupid choices.]

No. I- I was the one he was fighting when it happened. We were in the middle of a conflict that- It's hard to explain. A lot of people got involved and we didn't agree on how to deal with that.

I should have known. I was supposed to know.

Date: 2019-04-24 04:42 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - There goes my last giveafuck.)
It's- I-

[Maybe talking it out would have been the best decision. He's starting to see that now, but it doesn't hurt to get Jonathan to check his blood just in case. If it's something external, he wants to know.]

I'm the one who was responsible. They counted on me to make the right choice.

[That might have been putting a lot on him.]

Date: 2019-04-24 04:50 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - Instant regret.)
It was my team. I came up with the idea.

[Yup. He's nauseous thinking of it now.]

It was the right thing to do. I needed to do it. We needed a government sanctioned group to make sure people could trust people with powers again. And- it just went wrong. That wasn't what I wanted for him. But I was fighting heroes to save heroes. It was my choice.

Date: 2019-04-26 02:49 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - My impression of serious.)
I killed him.

[That comes out with sudden, bitter venom.]

We fought because I was trying to arrest him. And the others. Having loose superpowers running around was causing a public outcry against everyone that might have been dangerous, and I did control it. I'm the one responsible for keeping world peace. That's my job. He forgave me because that's just the kind of man he is, whether I'm imagining it or not. He trusted me.

[Whew. He got a lot off of his chest there.]

I didn't think I'd see him again.

Date: 2019-04-27 10:32 pm (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - Sometimes I just hate you.)
[Calling this mental stress is far from what Tony wants to consider true, but Jonathan does have a point. Especially when he's a doctor and not a psychiatrist. If even he thinks Tony is just dwelling on the past, then could it just be in his head?]

I... I don't know. Maybe.

Date: 2019-04-28 01:39 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - Stand in the desert.)
[The calm, rational way he lays everything out appeals to Tony's need for structure. Especially right now, when he's questioning everything. He needs that order to keep himself on track.]

Okay. Yeah.

[It's fine. He's going to get some tests done and focus on solving the problem. He doesn't need to panic.

He does as Jonathan says and gets water, although he doesn't have much motivation to drink it. Then he waits for the man's arrival.]

Date: 2019-04-28 02:37 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - Sometimes I hate myself.)
[Tony looks uncomfortable in his own room. He's sitting slumped forward on the couch with a glass of water set on the table in front of him, untouched. Like he's in a hospital waiting room. He looks up when Jonathan somehow enters the room, but he doesn't stand or prepare to fight. He accepts the direction, sitting up straight and trying to breathe with steady, deep breaths. The tech in his body tells him it's running just fine, but he doesn't want to believe that.]

Date: 2019-04-28 03:00 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - Instant regret.)
[The crestfallen look Tony gives Jonathan when he tells him the negative result says he knew the truth and just didn't want to hear it. He needs something external, something he can fix instead of grappling with his own mind.]

Yeah. I guess if you think it'll help...

[If only by pretending they are doing something for a while. He might be able to gather his thoughts by then.]

Date: 2019-04-28 03:55 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - This is called having a crisis.)
[The funny thing is that Tony is almost unusually healthy. The programming keeps him fit, telling his body to regenerate and work at optimal human levels. He can even heal from injuries, leaving him strangely unmarred for a person who should be fighting regularly and at least working with heavy tools. He takes to the physical smoothly enough, letting Jonathan guide him through small motions that mean he has something to concentrate on. His mind wants to go other places. He might not have eaten or slept for a while. He doesn't seem to recall that.]

You're saying I'm imagining things.

[He expected that much. He laces his fingers together as he sits in place, frowning darkly. What does he do when he needs to get out? The look in his eyes changes just slightly. It's hard to tell when he's got a flat expression anyway, but there's a bit more concentration and a brief, subtle light behind the irises. Then the armor in the corner comes to life and walks over to them.]

Date: 2019-04-28 05:57 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (IM - I'd like to see you do better.)
I let my friend get murdered because we didn't agree on how to save the most lives.

[Tony's answer comes out flat, through the armor rather than through his own mouth. It turns to speak to Jonathan instead, acting as though it really contains a man inside while Tony sits motionless in his seat.]

He's a good man. Of course he wouldn't blame me for that. He doesn't blame anyone as much as he should, but he's wrong. The future needs him to exist.

[He's technically out of his head? And while Tony sits still the armor settles some of his anxious energy by opening one of the panels on his left arm. It starts tinkering with tools built into the right, making adjustments while it talks.]

Date: 2019-04-28 06:15 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - All we ever do is fight.)
[The lack of emotion has a soothing effect. Jonathan's cold reason and working on wiring help him detach himself from the heat of the moment. Normally, Tony might try to find a good chess partner, but he's been so off his footing lately he just hasn't thought to step back and do that. And he never does well when Steve becomes a topic.]

It doesn't matter. I just- You wanted to know how I get out of my head. This is out.

[It's not completely out, but it's keeping him busy. The tinkering doesn't stop while Tony talks, because the armor doesn't have to see its own circuits to know what is or isn't there.]

He's really here. In the city. He called and asked me what I remembered. When I told him, he said he just got better and not to blame myself.

[This time Tony turns his own head to look at Jonathan, speaking simultaneously through the armor and his own voice.]

When we last fought, I got him arrested. He was going to be put on trial. He was shot before he even got there. We've been arguing here too. Since he got here.

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