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You've reached Dr. Jonathan Reid. Please leave me a message.

Date: 2019-04-10 01:06 pm (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - Stand in the desert.)
No.

[ A passing moment of frustration hits him where he wants to tell Jonathan that it isn't that. He feels fine. Except it isn't fine and he doesn't know what he's dealing with after all. ]

Nothing. I just- I might be having hallucinations? I'm not sure.

Date: 2019-04-11 03:39 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - All we ever do is fight.)
They might be. I don't know. I- I've been talking to someone, but in this place it is hard to tell what is really happening.

[What are they of? Well, he's not sure how to answer that.]

If this is real, then I'm seeing ghosts.

Date: 2019-04-12 02:39 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - Drown me in bitters and)
[He's reporting it sensibly enough because he does hallucinate. One of the side effects of changing his biology, and it's definitely a possibility to Tony. He mumbles into the phone, dejected.]

No, it was... just a voice. They've been in the room before, but not this time. I don't know, doctor. I- I've heard him, but this time he should really be here.

Date: 2019-04-13 04:51 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - And you're fucking welcome.)
[He would have thought that, but it turned out last time that the hallucinations actually had an external cause and Tony assumes this is just another incident he can fix. It's not his shattered mental state, surely.]

No. No, I'm fine! I feel fine. I just- I'm upset, but that's because he said- He told me-

It's not my mood. I'm not crazy.

Date: 2019-04-15 03:07 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - Your face is wrong.)
It's not stress!

[Well, so much for being convincing on that one. Good job, Tony.]

I- Look, can you just run some tests for me? I'd ask for a programmer, but I don't have that option.

Date: 2019-04-17 07:03 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - Sometimes I hate myself.)
[This is touching on medical information that Tony knows he probably shouldn't just share, but he's desperate and scared and short on options. He has to share if he wants to be sure it's not another episode.]

I... About a year ago now. It's not- I did an experiment a while ago, before I came here. Hearing things is- a side effect. It's getting better.

[Except having that talk with Steve is way too close to home. He isn't sure he can trust that.]

I haven't had an episode since I got here.

[Because he hasn't had to think of Steve in that much detail.]

Date: 2019-04-19 01:57 pm (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - All we ever do is fight.)
[He laughs a short, aborted laugh, which comes out shakily in his shaken state.]

I don't think it'll be something your tests will pick up on. It- If that's the reason this is happening, I'll handle it. I just want to know if this is anything else.

If it's real.

Date: 2019-04-23 03:59 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (IM - Yup. I deserved that.)
Just- just my blood. Armor scans say that my brain is functioning normally, but I don't know that I'm not sick. I shouldn't be.

[And the most likely issue would be his body trying to process a bunch of new information, but he can't guarantee that either.]

I don't know. He said- He said it was fine. That it wasn't my fault. But he's wrong.

Date: 2019-04-24 04:09 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - Sometimes I hate myself.)
[Tony needs an actual therapist, but he left his back home and has given up on that for the time being. Which means he's making a lot of reckless, stupid choices.]

No. I- I was the one he was fighting when it happened. We were in the middle of a conflict that- It's hard to explain. A lot of people got involved and we didn't agree on how to deal with that.

I should have known. I was supposed to know.

Date: 2019-04-24 04:42 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - There goes my last giveafuck.)
It's- I-

[Maybe talking it out would have been the best decision. He's starting to see that now, but it doesn't hurt to get Jonathan to check his blood just in case. If it's something external, he wants to know.]

I'm the one who was responsible. They counted on me to make the right choice.

[That might have been putting a lot on him.]

Date: 2019-04-24 04:50 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - Instant regret.)
It was my team. I came up with the idea.

[Yup. He's nauseous thinking of it now.]

It was the right thing to do. I needed to do it. We needed a government sanctioned group to make sure people could trust people with powers again. And- it just went wrong. That wasn't what I wanted for him. But I was fighting heroes to save heroes. It was my choice.

Date: 2019-04-26 02:49 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - My impression of serious.)
I killed him.

[That comes out with sudden, bitter venom.]

We fought because I was trying to arrest him. And the others. Having loose superpowers running around was causing a public outcry against everyone that might have been dangerous, and I did control it. I'm the one responsible for keeping world peace. That's my job. He forgave me because that's just the kind of man he is, whether I'm imagining it or not. He trusted me.

[Whew. He got a lot off of his chest there.]

I didn't think I'd see him again.

Date: 2019-04-27 10:32 pm (UTC)From: [personal profile] definingfuture
definingfuture: (T - Sometimes I just hate you.)
[Calling this mental stress is far from what Tony wants to consider true, but Jonathan does have a point. Especially when he's a doctor and not a psychiatrist. If even he thinks Tony is just dwelling on the past, then could it just be in his head?]

I... I don't know. Maybe.

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